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When "It's {not} Ok"

No, this is not a post about Juan Pablo from The Bachelor. It's a phrase that is said by every single person, every single day. A lady bumps into you at Target and apologizes... "Oh no, it's ok!" You leave the house without the lipstick you wanted, but you have another shade in your purse so you tell yourself... "It's ok." Little things happen daily that truly are OK to deal with. But it's the personal problems (happening to all of us) that I find myself telling people "It's ok..." when they have done me wrong. Then I proceed to have a mental breakdown when I get home and think of a million other things I wish I would have said to them instead.

So many scenarios have happened lately that I find myself frustrated about, that I have tried to let go of, but my mind stays wrapped around. But I am telling myself "It's ok, Shea... you're fine." but it stays in the back of my head anyway. And this happens to each of us ALL the time.

You aren't as close of friends with the people you spent hours laughing with, making memories with, and thinking you'd spend forever being best friends with. IT'S OK! You have met new people, shared new laughs, created new friendships. God gives and takes away, and some people are only meant to be in a particular season of your life, and that is nobody's fault. I had to realize that every girlfriend I made at 17 probably will not be my bridesmaid when I'm walking down the aisle when I am older. However, IT'S NOT OK to disrespect the friendship you once had. It is not right for either friend to take those private talks and emotional breakdowns you had during tough times together and share them with people after the friendship fades. Keep loyal to your friends, even if you aren't close anymore. There was a love and a trust there that should never be broken.

You moved away from home and everything seems to be different now. IT'S OK! You will meet people in your new area of town. You will experience new things you would have NEVER imagined to happen to you. (Sidenote: While living in my hometown of 3,000 people, if you had told me that I would be the lead role in a music video featured on Rolling Stone Magazine's website, I would have never believed you.) God's plan for you is so incredible; it is beyond anything we can imagine for ourselves. You never know what road He will lead you down when you decide to expand your horizons and try new things. On the flip-side, IT'S OK to stay where you are. So many people love my hometown and what it offers. You may want to stay there and teach at the high school you went to, or coach the cheer team you were on years ago while your husband leads the team on the field. You may want to build your house behind the back roads you drove 100 miles an hour down as a teenager, then raise up your family there and turn your house into a home. Everything about that IS OK! You can stay where you're rooted but IT'S OK to fly.

You and your boyfriend broke up. And even though everything in you hurts and misses him, IT'S OK. It is ok to take down the photos and skip the songs that remind you of him when they come on the radio (only for a while though, some songs are too good to skip for the rest of your life.) And no, IT'S NOT OK that he cheated, or that you had to see the messages on his phone between him and his ex or some girl that knew about you during y'all's relationship. Or maybe a friend told you that he was with another girl at that party last week when he said it was just the guys. Whatever the case may be, it will never be ok that while you are loyal, somebody else decides not to be. But, IT'S OK that he is gone if that is the case. Maybe your relationship just did not work out, and it was for the best to go your separate ways, and even that is fine! I have always prayed for my future husband and prayed that his heart is good in the Lord. The one man that God put here for you won't cheat, lie, or disrespect you. You learned something from that relationship. It may be that you learned how to love somebody, or you now know what you liked/disliked about guys, or any little lesson that may carry over to what you want in your next relationship. Every lesson you learned will help you in the future. If he wasn't the one, then you are no longer investing time into something that God did not want for you. God may bring him back, but if not, then know it is His plan and that will truly help you to realize when looking at your breakup, even when it hurts, IT'S OK.

The last one is the hardest to look at yourself and say "IT'S OK." So many times I have looked at my life and see how much I have messed up. How many times I have gone against what I know to be right. How many times my guardian angels have looked down and said "Come on Shea, what are ya doing?" For every step into sin we take, and every time we feel like we are disproving to the Lord, IT'S OK. His grace is so beyond compare that we are forgiven before we even make the mistake. IT'S NOT OK to keep on doing the same sin over and over over after God has gotten you out of the trouble it may have led you into, but He will forgive you even when you do fall back into it. Daniel 9:9 tells us "The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him." Even when we are not worthy, God says "IT'S OK!" And if God says we are OK, what else do we need? His grace and love is enough for us to see ourselves and know that we can say....


XOXO, Shea Leigh

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